What does sex mean?
by illuminatedflowerfield
Summary: Summary: Alfred is curious to know what the word, "sex" means. He goes towards England to ask him and ends up burning his hand inside the pot. LAME SUMMARY! Please read, teen!America and England. Rated T for language, may go higher...
1. Scones and Books

**Can you teach me what "sex" is?**

**Summary: Alfred is curious to know what the word, "sex" means. He goes towards England to ask him and ends up burning his hand inside the pot. LAME SUMMARY! Please read, teen!America and England. Rated T for language, may go higher...**

**WARNINGS: Some OOC, incest?, character names, MAYBE some spoilers, not sure.**

Hikari: I know...it's a random title, but you know we have our times when we ask certain questions, the talk, all those goodie goodies. So yeah, I decided to do this story.  
France: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ENGLAND! WHY CAN'T I TEACH HIM-  
England: Cause he likes me more, you horney wine drinker!  
Hikari: right... Might as well start~

Chapter 1. Scones and Books

The boy stood staring into space, looking at the walls, he was trying to distract himself from the boredom of school (A/N: I don't know if they had schools like us at this time), it was his final class of the day, religion. He was alright with it, just he seemed the class boring.

"Well then children, it is afternoon and it is time to go home, off you go. And do your homework!" said the priest.

The young boy sighed. He was so bored, he wondered why he still went to school, he was 15, so shouldn't he have gone to College? His father, Arthur Kirkland, wanted him to be really bright, just like his twin, Matthew.

"Look at this dumb boy with his silly bear! He's 14 and he still carries it! That's stupid!" said one of the boys, he turned over and saw his little brother being beat up, again, just because of Kumajirou.

"N-No, p-please stop teasing him!" teared Matthew.

"Leave my little brother alone!" hollered Alfred. He usually came to the rescue being a hero, as he had always wanted to.

"Crap, it's that guy's son!" whispered one of the boys.

"Let's get outta here..." and the boys left, leaving Matthew hurt.

"Matthew, you can't let them beat you up! You gotta stand up!" told Alfred.

"But I can't..." said the whimpering boy.

He had looked at the books Mattie had, he had very special classes, because their mother, who only Matthew knew, Ms. Bonnefoy, had trained him to be really sweet, and smart. He then looked at the one science book and saw notes, something about a word, it said... "sex".

"Hey Mattie, what's this about?" asked Alfred.

"Huh?" pausing, Matthew responded, "I don't know...My teacher told me to ask my parents..."

"Oh. Well, it sounds like a funny word, don't you think? It sounds like six, I wonder whats the difference..." wondered Alfred.

"Well, we gotta go home..." said Matthew, arranging his books again.

"Hey Arthur, I'm home!" hollered Alfred.

"Ahh...Welcome back, Alfred. How was your day?" asked the man in the apron.

Alfred knew this question was usually gonna take a while to lie, as he knew, every single day was boring, and usually, get beaten up.

"Uh...It was...good!" lied the troubled one.

"Ah, I see." said Arthur, bring a plate with him, he said "Well, I'm cooking some fish and chips for ya, alright?"

Alfred thought about the word he saw on the book Matt had, he had wondered.

"Hey, Arthur?" he looked back while cooking. "What does the word, "sex" mean?"

Arthur had a flush of red on his face as soon as he heard it, he seemed...mad. This was never a good idea...NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT MAKE ENGLAND MAD.

"WHAT THE BLOODY BOLLOCKS DID YOU JUST SAY?" screamt the raged man.

"I asked you what sex is...by the way..." Alfred started laughing. "You put your hand in the pot!"

"WHAT!" looking back, he sees his arm, inside, instead of a handle. "AHH!"

Hikari: MWAHAHAH!  
England: You bloody wanker...How dare you make me put my hand in the pot! I would have felt it!  
France: Well~ You were to angry to notice-  
England: OH SHUT UP YOU BLOODY FROG!  
Hikari: I have more to write, but I gotta cram for science test instead. XD But yeah, Review will be very very helpfull~ I don't care if its flames cause at least i'll be warm. :D


	2. Burned Hands and Family

**Can you teach me what "sex" is?**

**Summary: Alfred is curious to know what the word, "sex" means. He goes towards England to ask him and ends up burning his hand inside the pot. LAME SUMMARY! Please read, teen!America and England. Rated T for language, may go higher...**

**WARNINGS: Some OOC, incest?, character names, MAYBE some spoilers, not sure.**

Hikari: OMG. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH GUYS FOR FAVING THIS STORY LIKE F-ING CRAZY! I was so happy, I had the idea to stop cramming for that stupid science test tomorrow, so, here's new chappie! But I hope it doesn't sound lame, cause I'm very tired and I wanna play ToGf, either way, this is based on the time America was founded, so its why I won't be accurate with my US history notes. On with the story!

**Chapter 2. Burned Hands and Family**

"That's not funny, Alfred! Bloody Hell!" screamt the man in rage.

Alfred couldn't help but to laugh at Arthur, being really silly to put his hand in the pot.

"Grrrr..." groweled the bushy-eyebrowed man. "...What dif you ask me again?"

"I asked you what sex is..." said Alfred, wiping of his tears from laughing to hard.

England stood there, staring at him with confusion and anger, it seemed.

"Why...WHY DID HE ASK ME THIS CERTAIN QUESTION! Couldn't it have been something else, like...drugs? Oh bloody hell, what do I do?" thought England. (He was speaking to his mind, by the way.) "Uh...h-how'd you learn the word?"

"Mattie had a science book with him, and I saw the word, cause it looked funny, how come its like six?" answered the curious blonde. "I mean, you DO want me to be as smart as Mattie, right?"

"(Ah...it's no wonder...) W-Well...yes..." coughed the man.

He stared into the space that seemed to be getting tense, very very tense. This didn't help Arthur at all.

"W-Well...Th-That's how you and Matthew were made, me and your fa-mother, gave birth to you." Arthur tried to hide the fact all these years he had two boys, with a MAN. A MAN. He wouldn't dare tell his younger nation telling him how he was made.

Alfred didn't seem to take it, he was confused why his parents were NEVER together, how come he didn't get to see his mother once?

"But How come you and Mom don't see each other anymore? And how come I don't exactly look like you?" asked Alfred.

Arthur really didn't expect this one coming in as soon as he questioned, "what is sex?". It was really hard to answer, since it could've hurt him.

"Uh...well...I guess I can kind of explain to you..." paused Arthur, "Why you can't see your ...mother anymore."

Arthur explained to him that, Francis Bonnefoy, (rather, Francisca del Rose Bonnefoy, as he lied to him) was actually older than him, he wasn't thinking that. They were best friends, and they used to hang out alot, until a certain incident happened, making both...pregnant (lying again, Francisca had both Alfred and Matthew), ending up giving birth to the nations of America and Canada (but they didn't know they were nations till later on.) Apparently, Arthur was forced to make love with "her", at around the age of 15, "Francisca" being 20, actually. their parents were mad, ending them to chase them away (this is where the pilgrims go to the New World.) On the way, the two children were born, and they were a happy family for 3 months on a boat. But then...a tragedy happened, a very big storm had became alert, breaking the boat in half, Arthur had though he had lost his children forever. Leading shore to an unknown island (that's what they though which was actually Florida, now) "Francisca" and he fought over what happened, breaking up, they decided to look for their children, alone. Arthur walked all of the colonies, till he got to Jamestown, he had found a little boy that had seemed to look like Alfred, (It'd been 3 years now.)

"So...I was born in the sea...SWEET!" screamt Alfred.

"BLOODY HELL! HOW CAN YOU BE SO FREAKISH CALM AFTER ALL THAT!" responded Arthur.

"So, is that how we are born? Sex?"

"...Yes." the man was about to leave, until, the young one asked,

"...So...How does it feel like?" wondered again, the boy.

He didn't dare at all to answer the question, AT ALL. That was something very gross to him, he wouldn't dare try to touch the not-so-innocent-anymore child.

"Y-You'll f-find out later...Wh-when you get married..." blushed the man.

"B-But I wanna try it out~ It sounds fun how you can make kids like that!" said the little boy.

Arthur facepalmed his head, hiding his flushed face, remembering that tomato loving bastard, Antonio.

"Y-You could only do that with women, y-you wanker!..." is what he had said, even though, this was (somewhat) NOT TRUE at all.

"No, I mean, whenever I have kids, I wanna be ready...Can you teach me?"

Hikari: And Here is where I stop for teh moment, I know it does kinda sound lame, oh, if you were wondering why the chapter 1 was titled Scones and Books was cause England was making scones WITH the Fish and Chips. *chills* But eah, this is because I'm tired and I have no idea what I just wrote, it just came outta my mind, and I am tired, so it's pretty lame. I'll edit it soon! Again! See you later, Alligator~ Please Review what I should write next~ It's very helpful with reviews! :D


	3. Preview of The Goo and the Wiener

Hikari: Hello everybody to a new chapter~ ...Is what I'd wish to say... DX  
Japan: There is was a power outage, right, Hikari-san?  
Hikari: As Japan said, I WAS writing the next chapter, but then... EXPLOSION! The power was out, it was horrible. I can't remember one single piece of it, and I thought Word Processer had saved my life...  
America: Hehe...Sorry...That must have been England playing too much with my glasses (for some reason, I reference that as Texas...dunno why.) to make your power go out.  
Hikari: A-Anyways, this is what will hopefully be in the next chapter, I'm still kinda thinking if it's gonna be M or not!

* * *

**Chapter 3. The Goo and the Wiener.**

"America, when that happens, it might be painful." explained the Brit.

"What do you mean, Arthur?" asked Alfred, "Does it hurt if you do that?"

"N-Not really...It might, but then after that, it'll feel's very...sweet."

"How come you know all this stuff? I mean...you're not a female to be my mom...right?"

* * *

Hikari: AAAAAAAND That's as much...I hope you were reading the A New Pet for Torture...I might update right now, but with very little crap... XD I actually had to go to Google how to spell the thing that is the meaty part of a hot dog...I swear, I kept spelling it Weiner, Wineer, lots...  
England: You're even stupider than America...


End file.
